Empathy – a reflection on how it will make you a better designer and person
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A couple of years ago while I was in school, I passed a friend I hadn’t seen in a while. Like most people, I said hello and asked, “How are you?” It’s a simple question—one we often toss out without expecting a real answer. But to my surprise, I didn’t get the usual “Good, how about you?”
Instead, he replied, “You know, Peyton, you seem like the kind of person I can say ‘not good’ to.”
That moment has stuck with me ever since. Of course, we continued talking—though I won’t get into the details here—but I’ve often wondered: Why me? What made me approachable in that moment?
I’ve written about empathy more than once on this blog. It’s the first step in the design thinking process and, in my opinion, by far the most important. Whether you’re a designer, filmmaker, or any kind of creative, your work has to begin with empathy.
The Interaction Design Foundation defines empathy in design as the act of “setting aside assumptions to obtain insights into the users’ world.” That means forgetting what you think you know—about the person, their situation, or even their perceived problem—and just listening to what they’re actually trying to say.
One example from my own work comes from a project I did with an agency for the Hamden, CT Police Department. When they first approached us, they were very clear: they wanted a recruitment video. But we didn’t stop there. We dug deeper and discovered that their real challenge was reaching and resonating with younger audiences. They didn’t just need a video—they needed a way to show the next generation what a career in law enforcement could look like for them.
By empathizing with our contacts at the department, we moved beyond the surface request and built a full strategy that actually solved the underlying issue. This included a targeted social media plan, a redesigned website, and a recruitment video tailored specifically for a younger demographic.
Looking back on that college interaction, I now understand why my friend felt comfortable opening up. It wasn’t because I said anything special. It was because I truly listened. I’m more introverted than extroverted—I tend to stay quiet around people I don’t know well and keep a small circle. For much of my life, I saw that as a weakness. Now, I see it as one of my greatest strengths.
In telling me that I seemed like someone he could be honest with, my friend helped me realize that being quiet doesn’t mean being disconnected. It can mean being fully present. By giving him space to speak and showing that I was listening, I earned his trust.
That lesson applies directly to working with clients as a designer. Empathy isn’t just nodding while they tell you they need a recruitment video. It’s asking questions, digging deeper, and creating space for them to tell you what they really need. And that only happens if you talk less, listen more, and let them lead the conversation.
Hi! My name is Peyton McKenzie.
I am a professional graphic designer, photographer and content creator.
I encourage you to explore my portfolio to get a better idea of the work I create. If you are interested in working with me or have inquiries of any kind, don’t hesitate to reach out over email.
